stripped.

2 03 2016

i would have said
last year i was
stripped raw
and bare.

but i suppose,
there’s always more.

those deeper
layers
i didn’t even know
existed,
or even the ones that
were still there.
they’ve been there
for so long,
i thought it was
just a part of me,
my skin,
who i am.

but as He slowly
peels off those
layers,
bit by itty bitty bit
i realize how
painful yet crucial
this process truly is.

the dying to self
doesn’t happen
just once.
rather it happens
over and
over and
over again.

sometimes it would
be easier if the death
of our old self
was just done
completely finished
with one decision.
one choice.

we have to live
through the process
of dying to ourselves
because i believe
He exchanges it by
breathing in life.
hope.
joy.
fulfillment.
purpose.
strength.
peace.

while i truly believe that,
i also believe
i  get so caught up in the
process of allowing
my flesh to die,
that i don’t really see that
part of all of this.

the real reason we
choose this process,
is to be changed.

i’ve been looking
for a bigger contrast
of change.
an obvious difference,
and i don’t really see it.
but i guess i’m
kind of holding onto
believing it’s happening.

change is coming.
and so are all those
other things He wants
to breathe into my life.
into your life.
sometimes we just have
to hold on
for just a little bit longer,
whether we understand
it or not.
whether you want to
or not.
you never know when
that miracle will happen.

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