5 02 2015

and oh,
how healing is
absolutely painful.
there are new
depths i am trying
to navigate.
new waters i need
to tread.
new fears that are
finding their way
into my heart and
mind and new storms
that seem to be brewing.

sometimes when His
finger touches a piece
of my heart,
i feel all of me just
i’m a delicate sort of
porcelain these days.
i feel misunderstood
and absolutely lost;
that look of being a
deer in the headlights.

but i must remember,
with every new morning
comes a choice.
to pick my barely beating
heart up off the floor,
and just leave the mess
and continue forward,
or to just let it sit there
and beat

and i will choose both.
sometimes i have to
just watch it beat,
and remember that
it’s okay if i don’t know
what i’m doing.
it’s okay that i’m feeling
quite sensitive and broken.
it’s okay to protect myself;
but it’s not okay to barricade
myself in.
it’s not okay to not get up.
it’s not okay to quit.
it’s not okay to just walk

it’s hard to have the
drive and endurance
to get somewhere,
when you have no vision
of where you wanna be…





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