26 09 2014

I remember when
you wrote and
talked about how
you were so stuck
in life and you
were so angry that
God allowed my life
to move forward
while you were lost
in your pain…

Well,
once again my dear.
The tables have turned.
I feel the same.
Your life continues forward
and I continue
to feel lost in time.
I feel stuck and like I
have no idea or sense
of where I’m headed.

The pain is as fresh
as if everything happened
yesterday…. only it feels
deeper as the years
slowly tick on.

Life is never fair.
It seems like the furthest
thing from fair.
But,
I suppose we are given
the cards we are dealt
and we continue to play
them the best we can.

I sit back,
and slip into the shadows
as I watch you joyfully
and freely move forward.
I don’t understand
how I got lost in
the dark,
and how you got moved
into the light,
but those questions really
are nothing but
a never ending circle
and battle.

So I try to move
forward,
however best I can,
and I only hope for
truth.
For good for you,
because I was not created
with a ruthless heart.

He made me a
lover and forgiver,
and I must continually
find those spaces in
my heart where I must
continue to forgive you
over and over and over
and over and over and
over and over again….

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