Steps.

1 05 2014

There is this
tension between
the power and
the pain.

Sometimes
I feel this sense
of power-
sending me to think
I am standing on
top of the world
with an odd euphoria
of sorts.

It is a twisted
way of thinking
because the pain
is so slightly
wrapped within the
power.
It is a false sense
of
self
destination
and desire.

With hot red
tears,
I cling to a false
reality of sorts
knowing that
there has got
to be other ways.
To let go-
to live free.

Our minds
our struggles
are like those
who walk in
a forest.
They choose a
path and walk
that same path
over and over and
over and over again,
and with every
step,
they are actually
creating a path.

Our brains are
wired that way.
Sometimes
you’ve walked the
road of
depression or
anxiety or
fear or
self hatred or
perfectionism or
anger or
bitterness or
unforgiveness….

And sometimes,
we are on this
path and walk it
simply because
it is all we have ever
done.

Then,
out of the blue a clear
thought comes across
our minds,
saying that it is
time for a new path
to be made.

But the habit of
walking this lonely
road alone,
it makes it difficult.

As I was reminded
today;
she grabbed my shoulders
and stared deeply
into my eyes and said
softly and slowly
“You are in control.”

So.

I step off my path,
which is the first step.
I blindly try
and take a step forward
towards a new one.

And hopefully,
years from now,
I will look back,
and see a beautiful
new path that
I worked hard to create
to find freedom
and joy
and rest
and hope.

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