28 04 2014

you’re forced to
sit out on the bench.

You’re forced
to sit on the sidelines
and either hate
where you’re at-
or cheer the others on.

when something
is taken away and
you no longer can
have it,
you almost want it
and need it that much

I have found myself
in this dark and
foggy land these days.
Even though spring
is finally surfacing
itself and the sun
is beginning to shine.
The flowers are beginning
to bloom….

But my heart is
stuck in a winter gloomy

I’m trying hard to
not be so bummed
and not be so focused
on the fact that I
can’t run for this time
Hopefully it won’t be
and if it is,
well I’ll deal with that
when it gets here.

I suppose I need
to find something new
to put my little
heart into.

Today I thought about
how we are all
running different races.
Some are way harder
than others.
Some are also sitting
out on the sidelines
like me.

But everything is
a choice.
I can choose to find
joy on the bench.
I can choose to find
joy while I cheer on
the ones I love
and watch them accomplish
new things.
I can choose to find
joy when I know I’m
worth more than
sitting on the bench.
I can choose more
when I feel like I’ve been
left behind a little.
I can choose joy
that I ever even did a marathon.

Every single day
is nothing but millions
of choose-ings.
Every second of every day.
I tend to choose my
anger over happiness.
I tend to choose to
be down in the dumps
over enjoying the sun outside.
I tend to choose to
be living in what was,
and not what is.
I tend to choose the pessimistic
side of life, because
I’ve always kind of been that way.

But I can also choose
not to be like that.
We only have so many months
of the sun shining up here,
and I don’t want to let that
sun-soaking-fun be gone before
I know it.

So I need to stop dwelling
on what I can’t do,
and figure out what I CAN do.





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