27 12 2013

Sometimes I get caught
in the in between.
In the transitions of
I have to sit
and mourn the leaving of
while joyfully walking

I want to hold
onto everything,
possibly because I see
when something leaves
this time and space,
I can no longer go back.

I think in the
leaving of seasons,
people are always left
in them.
Some continue to walk
forward with me,
but sometimes people
are just in our lives
for such a time as this.

And I’m selfish and wish
I could always have
all the people I hold dearly,
right here;
right now and always.

Possibly because pieces
of my heart are
scattered far and wide
between countries and
Africa, South and Central
All over the U.S…..

I feel I am in this
constant motion
of gaining and losing.
We can never have it
because if we did,
it still just wouldn’t be

I know Jesus is supposed
to be my constant,
but I have a hard time with
I will get it at one point
but it’s just a hard lesson
to truly learn.

And I just
get stuck in the
loss part of life.
I’m so happy and thankful
for the good I have,
but I deeply care for
that it just always hurts
to constantly lose people.

Whether because of
distance, life
or because of burning
a bridge,
I will always be a bit sad.

But I also believe in
this saying

“Wherever you are
be all there…” – Jim Elliot

And I will try.





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