Warfare.

22 12 2013

Ah, yes.

Spiritual warfare
have been the words
ringing in my ears
the last month.

In my own life,
with my own issues
and challenges and doubts.
The enemy trying
to keep me chained down
and bound to nothing
but lies…
yet in July,
God released his community
and truth has been
piercing the darkness
like never before.

And the spiritual
warfare has begun
in my own heart.
The battles are being
fought- and for
those who choose to walk
so closely with me,
know the war that is going on.
And know that without Him,
and without them,
I would not be doing this.
I would not be choosing
to pick myself up
time and time again,
as I feel I am being drug
along the trenches.
Every.Single.Day.

And oh,
when I was off for a visit
my eyes had never been
so clearly opened
to the spiritual warfare
going on in churches today.
And my heart broke.
Nothing but ‘he said she said’
roaming around and
destroying churches.
Literally, destroying.
Not with just one church,
but the story rings true
in several of my friend’s
churches.
And listening,
as the outsider,
I could clearly stand there
and see what the enemy is doing.
He has come like a thief
to steal kill and destroy
and he is doing a damn good job.
Because we’re letting him.
But when you’re in the
middle of the whirlwind
of offenses being made
and accusations against you
and your family,
and when you build those
walls of defense and
try and protect your heart
and theirs,
well….
its really hard to fight back.
All are in the wrong,
and the enemy is claiming
ground,
as we cower away in our hurt.
Oh trust me,
I have been there time
and time and time again.
If only you knew my full
story.

But what I have done
time and time and time again…
I have chosen to continue
to walk into those
church doors.
Walls built up so high
around my heart.
Not willing to let people in.
Because I know,
He has made me to be
a fighter.
It is something that is
in my blood and my spiritual
DNA.

And after two years of
kind-of showing up
to this little church…
God is beginning to let
those walls break.
Community is finding
their way into my life
and me into theirs.
And I just love these people.

And life is just not so good
without community.
And in our small church,
he is beginning to build
an army of amazing people.

And today,
everything my heart
has been feeling and
pondering and seeing,
the Preacher man
(as this woman likes to call him)
confirmed.
He talked about
the bigger picture.
The spiritual battle that is
really going on today.
And that we need to rise up
and as he talked about
two weeks ago,
stepping into our inheritance
(a beautiful story of David,
with a new revelation I had never
thought of) and using the
gifts that God has given us
to fight….

Oh, it’s all
coming together!
Do you see it?
Life is becoming a little bit
more clearer.
And I know when it begins to
do this,
it also becomes more challenging.
Because the enemy sees
the clarity and wants to destroy
the vision and dreams in my heart
that are somewhere deep
down inside of me.
I’m having a really hard time
finding them and finding
purpose and meaning to life.
But then those big moments
come,
where God hands me another
piece of the puzzle
and it’s so very exciting!
And dangerous but beautiful
and hard.
It’s all compacted into this
one big THING.
I cannot explain it,
and sometimes I wish people
understood me a little bit more
and I wish I made a little
bit more sense,
but that’s okay.

He is working in me.
He is speaking to me,
and I can see that with
confirmation of what was said
two weeks ago,
and this week
and everything I saw last week.
I’m trying to learn to
be confident in what I hear
and see.
And I love that he is quietly
reassuring me in my steps.

I am here for a reason.
I am here for a purpose.
And so are YOU.

Something is stirring within
and I am gearing up
to fight in this battle.
But I can’t take too long,
because I DON’T want to miss
the battle…

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