Repeat.

7 12 2013

I have had these
crazy
irrational
fears welling up.

My mind reels
at a million miles
an hour,
and I don’t
know where this
stuff is coming from.

Some of it is
stuff I have
been tied down
for a while
but a lot of it
is new and
not necessarily
unrealistic,
but they’re almost
irrational.

It is amazing
how paralyzing
fear can be.

It seems so difficult
to speak out those
fears and draw them
into the light,
because to someone
else it might
seem so little.

But what may
seem like an irrational
fear to you,
may not be to the
person who is walking
in fear.

This season is
giving me grace
for people who
have struggled
more than I
with anxiety and fear.

I never really
understood
the term
‘frozen in fear’
until recently.

Some days I
wake up frozen
in my own fear.
But now I am
learning to be
kind.
To all who I meet,
because I have no idea
the roads they’re on…
I have no idea
the hardships that come
their way,
and how sometimes
it is just so hard to
see through
your brokenness.

I want to be kind
and gentle with my words.
I want to be more
open and understanding
when others speak.
And I hope they do the same
with me because lately,
a lot of days-
I can only seem to
pick myself up
and mutter the simple
words
“Jesus… Jesus… Jesus…”

And I hope that
His name is
simply. enough.

And I will continue
to pick myself up
again and again and
again and again…..
no matter how badly
I want to throw the
damn towel in.

20131207-144928.jpg

(this was a beautiful sunset the other day driving home)

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