Blindness.

8 11 2013

“Blindness isn’t the result of too little light, that’s darkness.
Blindness is not being able to see when light is all around you.”
– Stephen James

I could be very wrong,
but I am processing- out loud.

This past week,
I was given the absolute
honor and privilege to
listen to the hearts
and stories of others.
Painful and heartbreaking
stories.
As these beautiful people
shared their story,
my eyes filled with hot
tears
for their stories had bits
and pieces of my own.

The quote above,
has always been an
absolute favorite of mine.
It has resounded with me
for years.
If you know me well,
you know I love the idea
of contrast.
The contrast between
dark and light.
Good and evil.
Broken and beautiful.

And just tonight,
as I replayed those
raw stories in my mind,
I saw something
that we all had in common.
And it is something,
I am wondering if almost
everyone is in a sense ‘blind’.

With this particular group
we had the commonality that
we love Jesus… we believe in
the gospel and have a hope
for life after this.
But we are also all so very
blind.

I believe today,
the enemy has blinded
so many of us believers.
We don’t live as if we
are lost and wandering
around aimlessly
(well, actually I do a lot!)
but these stories were
from people serving and loving
others outside of themselves.
These were such self-less givers
sharing Christ in their homes
and jobs as best they could.

But we are so incredibly blind
to the love of Christ for
ourselves.
It is SO easy to tell others
about Christ’s love for them
and how He so desperately
wants a relationship with them.
And we do believe some of
those truths for ourselves,
but…. when you’re blind,
you don’t realize the depth of
what exactly you’re missing out on!

This was like
the biggest epiphany to me tonight.
It is so hard to believe,
that I am worth any value.
That I am lovable.
Completely.
That people love me for me.
Not because my
‘smile lights up the room’
or because I can be funny
or because I love to love others.

I can’t fathom that people
can love me through my shit.
Through my bad days.
I don’t let a ton of people
see those raw and super ugly
moments.
I don’t let people see my
breakdowns.
I don’t speak out my doubts
and insecurites.
I don’t bring the lies out
into the light,
but I SHOULD.
Because when they are
brought out into the light,
they lose their power.
Every.
Single.
Time.

These stories came
from the hands of
people who have
amazing ministries
and marriages
and husbands
and children…
these people love Jesus
so much.
But…. that one lie
was so common,
I had no idea.

What if we could speak
out truth to each
other more?

God created us so
uniquely and with purpose!
He created us with different
gifts and strengths
and weaknesses.
But until we believe –
and I mean BELIEVE
in the power of the One
who created us,
and His love for us,
I strongly believe
it absolutely hinders
the power of our
affect on furthering
the Kingdom.

Some people get it
though!
I’m not saying we’re
ALL blind.
But I really do believe,
that satan has
totally shattered
our identity in Christ,
and its such a journey
to find and believe
in that identity…

And who knows.
Maybe this is just me
and I’m just stuck.

But when I listened
to those stories,
I saw nothing but
absolute beauty,
and it absolutely broke
my heart to hear
the common theme
that they don’t feel
lovable or acceptable.
They feel they have
to work for God’s love.
And a lot of it is
because of the lies we
have listened to that were
spoken to us,
or that were in our minds
from experiences.
Then feeling that need to
be chained up in silence,
and never to speak out
against the lies,
and having no other
option- except to believe them.

I am on a healing road…
and it’s going to be long
and hard.
Harder than I ever knew.
But when I get to that
other side,
I cannot wait to walk
with others through it.
I so desperately want
to know who I am in
Christ and that my value
and worth come from Him
and Him alone.
And I cannot wait to
help others in that way,
and to watch our effectiveness
grow and grow and grow.

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May we continue
to find our way
out of the darkness
and to slip in the light…

 

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