Affirmation.

3 07 2013

I haven’t had much affirmation
in who I am lately.
Not much good or bad spoken into me.
I’ve had situations happened,
that allow my mind to
decipher who I think I am.

Tonight though,
I spoke with a dear friend.
I’ve known her about 13 years now
and she’s amazing.
I love her and miss her.

We talked a lot about hope.
Where we are.
How hard life is
and sometimes it feels like
we will never get a break.

And how hard times strip us
down.
And we have to see what
hope really means to us…
I told her about some
recent things that have happened
that have been so hard.
So frustrating and hurtful.

But I also see the other side.
I see that sometimes life is
complicated
and we can’t understand it.
We can’t fully see the situation,
and because of that,
we can extend grace.
More and more grace seems to come
the more and more we can’t
understand the situation.

It was good to hear,
that in the middle of heart-aches
and breaks,
I can still give grace.
Something I don’t feel I extend to
myself very often,
she sees me giving it so well to others.
Even through my broken vision
and through the hurt,
it’s given.

And maybe that is a gift
He has given me…. because I can’t
say it’s me doing that.
Because I have a whole lot of other
things I’d like to give instead.

So for such a time as this;
during this never-ending-
hello-freaking-lonely-wandering-in-
my-own-selfish-forest…..
I am thankful that He is allowing
me the extension of grace
in ways that don’t seem fit-able.
In ways that I normally would run
and scream and yell.

I can’t see a whole lot these days,
but I can see this tiny piece
and the part it is playing,
and how He is holding me
in a different way than I could have seen
it.

Thank you friend,
for your love and grace through
the years.
For your gift of seeing me
and choosing to speak the things
you see into my life.
Thank you for always listening
and affirming me with those
beautiful eyes.
You’ve always been able to hold
such a deep compassion for others
and to encourage in ways no one else
can.
It’s a gift of yours I’ve always loved
and been drawn to.
Thank you for your hope that speaks
even in your own heart-ached world.
You speak truth to the darkness
and it’s beautiful,
because the light just shines right out.
You are a gift to me and so very
precious I will always love you deeply…..

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