I am. You are.

5 06 2013


All of them are
sticky and complicated.
They take a lot of work
and a lot of grace
and forgiveness.
Especially those new ones.
They’re exciting and fresh.
I always love
and look forward to those
new relationships that
I try to build.

But there seems to
always be some sort
of downfall with them.
A wall continues to stand
and it is hard to recognize
and knock it down.
At least for me I feel that way.
It is hard hearing the same
“What do you do?”
“Where are you from?”
“What do you WANT to do?”
“Where did you go to school?”
“What was your degree?”

There is SO much more to
me than that.
Maybe I’m prone to be far
more sensitive to those
questions because I simply
have no answers.
Or all my answers are
“I dropped out.”
“I have no idea what I want to do”
“I’m just a server for now….”

There are things that
make me tick.
Things that light up
my world still like
a kid.
There are dark places
that I want light
to be shed on,
but it becomes complicated.
There are songs I love
places I go,
Things I do that simply
bring me joy.

And the same is for you.
I err too much on
assuming that all
conversations with
married people/people with
simply are all about
just those things.
I think, oh they
will talk about this
and that about
their children and spouses.
Or how their child
simply is the greatest
child in the world.
Or the absolute worst.

Yes, these are things we do
and this is our everyday life.
But how do we separate
these pieces of who we
have become and those
things that are still in us?

you’re a mama with
clingy children,
who seem to never obey
and cry and drip snot
and eat anything
off the ground they can
find. They walk around
licking things
and have dirt on their faces
and sticky hands
and you are home
holding the fort down
while your man is working
hard to put food on the table.
And you are a beautiful
mama because you survive
like this! It blows my mind
how much you deal with day in
and day out.

And yes,
I have all the free time
in the world ( I truly do)
and fill it complaining
about how bored I am
and no one can hang out,
because they all have much
more exciting lives than I.

But how do we incorporate
those other things
into our conversations.
Those things that make you
tick? Those dreams you
once use to spend your
mind wandering to?
Just because you got married
and settled down
with a now growing family,
the dreams don’t disappear.
I think God gives them to us,
and I think He does for a reason.
But how do we find them again
and allow them to grow
and encourage each other in that?
And encourage each other
to not allow the doubts of
not pursuing them because
of having children anchor you down.
How do we help each other
to run after those?

Or for those of us who have
no idea who we are still
because it’s simply just us
wandering into our deep dark
forests of selfishness,
we too have anchors of doubt
that consume and weigh us
Ours is different,
it’s just of not believing
we can do anything,
because we are alone.

And you not believing
because you are not
You have a family
to think of too.
But how beautiful to
incorporate them
into your dreaming
and  to watch
their own dreams
begin to unfold.

This isn’t an
angry post.
This is simply just thinking
about the people I meet
and the interactions that
are there.
We all default to
the same typical
but I wish I knew how
to ask better and deeper
questions without
prying or forcing.
But with intentionality.
I wish people could see
that I genuinely
just want to know them.
All their faults
and hang ups.
But sometimes I get
so caught up in myself,
that I’m afraid
the questions will be asked
of me in return…
but that’s how we grow.

Iron sharpens iron ya know….





One response

6 06 2013

The dreams don’t disappear…they change.

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