Single-Solo.

28 04 2013

Being single,
is not usually a topic
I really care to talk
about.
Ask any of my girlfriends,
I never talk about
boys unless you’re
Ryan Gosling.

In my own mind,
I find that I
tend to rate my
identity on being single.

Thinking I am
a nobody because
I’m not dating
(I’ve only dated one boy,
for one month. ha).
I don’t have a husband,
my own home,
kids,
a ‘real’ job.
A degree….

Really I have don’t have
a ton to say
“I’ve done this”.
I’ve succeeded or
accomplished this goal.

But lately,
I’ve been trying hard
to not define my
identity in those things.

I know I know,
‘you’re identity is
in Christ’
‘you’re a nice person,
you’re good with kids,
you can take a picture,
or throw paint on a
canvas….’

But those things
equally do not define me.
Well, I know I should
find it in Christ, but
that’s a journey in itself.

I’m becoming a little bit
more okay and
comfortable in my
‘single-skin’.
Life hasn’t happened
like I planned.
And that’s okay.
Honestly,
who’s life has?

I want to be more
comfortable in being
happy for all my other
friends who are dating
engaged
married
and growing their
families
and buying homes
and getting promotions.

I don’t want to envy
others,
and steal that joy away
because I’m so selfish.

But,
you have to have grace for
us single folk too
because,
well, our lives center
around us.
“There is no addiction so 
powerful as 
self-addiction.” -D. Miller

I’d say I’m fairly good
with all my married
friends,
and those with kiddos.
I’m (overall) patient
and understanding
that they can’t
do things like hang out
late
just ‘go’ to dinner
etc etc.
Actually most of
my friends are married
and a ton of them
have kids.

So yeah.
That’s my little rant.
I want to focus more
on other people
and not get so caught up
in myself
and what I don’t have….

I want to enjoy this
season and sense of
freedom.
Being able to do what
I want when I want.
No strings attached
no obligations really.

Yes,
many of you say
“oh enjoy it now!”
But you have to admit,
there are also
big blessings in
having someone with you
to walk through the ups
and downs,
fighting through life together,
the blessings in diapers
sleepless nights
because of raising a
family together.

I am in no means
saying your life is better
or perfect
or completely fulfilling.
There are pros and cons
blessings and curses for
both sides of the spectrum.

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One response

29 04 2013
joeysan

Identity in Christ can be a very ambiguous thing. Sounds good, but what does it really mean? I’m still working on that myself…

On Sun, Apr 28, 2013 at 12:43 PM, Talitha Koum

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