Lost.

4 02 2013

This morning I woke up
and my initial thoughts were
‘I’m screwed’.
(or rather some different words).
I’ve come a long way
the last months
actually several years.

But I have days where
I wake up a jumbled mess.
All my insecurities are
so raw
I freak out that everything
is wrong
and I’m doing absolutely
nothing right.
I just want to roll over
bury my face in my
soft feather pillow
and cry it out.

I feel like this sense
of lost is
big right now;
like it’s a coat
wrapped tightly around
my very being.
I can’t take it off,
because it exposes even more
deeper issues.
It hurts a little more
without it.

Today I walk around
unsure of everything.
Unsure of where I am
unsure of my job
unsure of any dreams
that might exist
hanging by any threads
in my heart.
Unsure of who I am
and my future
that seems to hold
a whole lot of emptiness.

Call me dramatic,
I really don’t care.
I just know I hate
where I am,
and I’m busting my ass
just to bust my ass.

But I hope to see
progress soon in
any way possible….

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One response

4 02 2013
joeysan

Allow yourself to have a bad day. And, be careful about allowing that bad day to undo all of the GROWTH that you have been experiencing.

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