Ugh.

14 01 2013

I’m sitting here in Starbucks.
Working.
And feeling highly annoyed.
Tonight I tried a new
bible study,
and of course,
I can’t see myself there.
Everyone is married.
I don’t want to be
‘that’ person.
And they’re basically all
friends,
and I don’t really think
one person went out
of their way to chat with me
being the only new person.
*awkward.
I know they’re great people,
with great hearts,
but it just doesn’t seem like
it’s for me.

I’m frustrated that these
things aren’t coming
together as smoothly as
I wish they would.
Sometimes I feel like God
owes it to me.
After holding my heart so
cold and hard towards Him
for so long;
and then I begin to finally
soften up and move closer
and things don’t work.
I quickly want to pack
my shit up and say
See! See! This is why! This 
is why I don’t need people
and why I don’t need to be
in a bible study!

But then here I am at
Starbucks a few hours later,
and there is a bible study
going on
and I feel that longing
for community.
That longing to be encouraged
and challenged and
to love others and pray for
and with them.
A place to feel like I belong.
And the other voice says,
‘See…. see you do want this.
You need it. You have to
be patient.
You just have to be patient….’

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2 responses

14 01 2013
joeysan

For more than 3 years we wanted to be a part of a thrive group at rivertree. But, every time the subject came up, we were about to have a baby or just had a baby and it would have been pointless to start a new group at that time. It was just never the RIGHT time. What we didn’t realize at the time, was that not only was it not the right time, but it would not have been with the right people, either. And it is not because they were bad or we were bad or anything like that (we never joined so we never met any of them so how would we know what they were like), but because God has the BEST people in mind for you, not just good people. He knows what you need and who are the BEST people to deliver what you need. Those same people may not be the BEST for me and it’s not because I am better but because I am different and I am in a different place. Now that we are at Love Canton we have a community that loves us every which way and on every day. This is so much more than what the thrive group would have been.

Give it some time. It WILL happen for you. Just be ready. It may come at a time and place you aren’t expecting.

14 01 2013
theramblingjunkie.com

I love you Dre. Thank you for inviting me to be here!! I miss hearing your thoughts because they’re do real and honest. This is a frustratingly common experience for so many, including me. It’s so hard to find the right community, but it’s definitely WORTH the effort because one day it will most assuredly pay off if you don’t grow weary!!!!!

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