Genuine.

15 10 2012

Today I’ve been thinking
about that word.
Genuine.
My desire is to be a genuine person
in all I do.
I look back at my spiritual journey
and I wonder and question
and doubt if any of it was genuine
anymore.
Was I pleasing people my
whole life just to fit into
all their different molds?
Because that is all I wanted.
Was to know affirmation
and to be loved,
so I did what I needed to to make
them happy.
And here I am.
No idea what I think or believe anymore.
No idea where I am going
and who I really am.
It is another season of
wandering and questioning
walking the barrenness.
I almost want to do it alone
because I feel completely
misunderstood.
My thinking seems to be invalid
most of the times
but for once,
I am going to be me.
Be honest and raw with my thinking
and my heart and the hurt.
I’m tired of people blowing it off.
So I keep my words minimal
and quiet.
I’ll keep from the judgment
and continue to walk slowly,
dragging my feet along the dirt
with these steps going nowhere.

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One response

16 10 2012
joeysan

You ARE loved…but will you ALLOW yourself to know and enjoy it?

On Mon, Oct 15, 2012 at 11:47 AM, Talitha Koum

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