2 10 2012

And it is here.
In the stillness of the night.
As the dark becomes heavy,
the silence becomes almost unbearable.
As I lay down,
all I can hear is the deep heartbeats,
and the long,
steady breathes of uneasiness.

Sometimes, my thoughts seem to be so
loud and clear,
while other times, they are so
loud and clear-
that they feel so overwhelming.

I find that I want to hermit up these days.
Not looking forward to my birthday.
I keep pondering about getting a home of my own.
Living alone and pushing away.
It seems a little too intriguing.

As winter comes,
there’s always a change in season in my heart.
Winter tends to be difficult
(as if these past 8 years have been anything less).
But as I always try to remember,
Trees grow their their roots deepest
 through the winters….
And I need these winters.
These quiet and cold nights
to wrestle out my broken heart.

For now though,
the brokenness is all it is.
No wrestling yet.
Just sitting and being broken is all.

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