Run Baby.

19 09 2012

Sometimes I have these moments…
Moments of sheer fear.

I want to drop all my things,
pick my heart up off the ground,
with pieces continuously falling,
and I want to run.

I am an open book people.
I share so much with so many people,
and I get so hurt because that is what I do.
I can’t do the whole surface-talk.
I want to jump in deep.
I need to know why people tick,
I need to know the things that make you the person
that you are today.
The good the bad and the ugly.
I want to know it all.
I need to know what your heart beats for
and how you receive love the best.
Because I want to do that.
I need to see the rawness in people.
And in order to get there,
I usually take the first step.
I share a lot.
I’m brutally honest.

But I also run.
Fast.

I have been hurt a lot,
just like anyone else.
I have some major insecurity issues.
I think way too much.
I worry about every move I make.
But when I get hurt,
I run.
When I get angry.
I run.
When I am raw in a vulnerable way,
I tend to run.
When I feel like I’m being attacked,
I run.

Run run run.
Story of my life.
It’s time to stop this madness,
and time to figure things out.
To really learn to be able to handle things
without clamming up
running away
and pushing people out.

I hate who I am becoming sometimes.
But I love that I am facing these issues now,
and learning to run in the right direction…

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