17 09 2012

My dear heart.

I love you so.
Honestly, it seems so hard to mean it.
To even say that
or think it.

I treat you so cruelly.
I speak with anger towards you.
I drop you all the time,
you crack and break
and get all these dents in you.

I look at you
and sometimes I am so disgusted at what I see.
Every now and then
through the cracks,
I can see a hint of beauty.
But it is not very often
that I can catch a glimpse of it.

I speak with you unkindly.
I speak without patience
and in such a stern way.
I break you down with words
and it takes triple the amount of words
to try and build you back up again.

I give you away to so many people.
You hold so many of them
near and dear to you,
yet it seems that it is not usually reciprocated.
And if it is,
a lot of times they just don’t know how to show it.
So you feel left broken
and unloved.
You allow people to see into the pain
and scars that have caused
so much turmoil in you.
And a lot of times they can’t handle it
or just don’t know what to do,
so they’re silent.

And that silence breaks you.
Leaves you feeling so worthless
and unloved.

But my dear heart,
please hold on.
Even though hope seems to slip away
like the grains of sand
through a child’s fingers…
hold on.

The war isn’t over yet.
It has only just begun.
I hope you continue to gain ground,
even though you always lose it,
you always get back up
and gain it again
and more.

So don’t let go.
Don’t barricade yourself in,
don’t run away again.
Don’t curl up in a ball and hide,
don’t allow it all to get lost inside.

Sometimes its just too hard
to hold your heart above your head…





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