2 06 2012

As I’ve mentioned here before, I struggle with night time.

The other night, I was struggling a lot. Everything in my mind and soul were
swirling and nothing would stop.
I couldn’t sleep even though I only had three hours of sleep the night before.

I was exhausted emotionally and physically.

But my heart still wrestled.

A friend had text me a Bible verse earlier that said

“The name of the Lord is a strong and mighty tower, the righteous run into it and they are safe.”

I am not sure the reference on that one. But as I tried to pray,
I couldn’t. I felt wrong, because sin was weighing so heavily on my heart.

I didn’t feel righteous.
I felt worthless.

I struggle a lot with feeling worthless.

The key is reminding myself of who I am in Christ.

I wrestled with that verse for hours that night.
I felt like God must’ve abandoned me because of my sin.
I deserved to not be protected,
Because I was not faithful to Jesus in certain areas.

And the next day, I talked with the friend that had text me that verse,
And I told her that I did not get to bed till about 3:30am,
And it’s amazing…
She felt like the Lord had woken her up at 2:30am (she’s an hour behind in time-zone),
And needed to pray for me.

So even when I do mess up,
God is still protecting me.
He is still keeping me safe. 

My righteousness has nothing to do with me,
What I do,
And what I do not do.

It is my position in Christ.

It is in Christ that I stand,
All that I know,
All that matters
Comes from the resurrection
Of His son.

It’s a beautiful thing really.

“By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God.”            1 John 3:19-21




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