6 05 2012


forever  (fɔːˈrɛvə, fə-)
— adv
1. Also: for ever  without end; everlastingly; eternally
2. at all times; incessantly

A friend and I discussed briefly the word ‘forever’.

It shot a slight pain in my heart. I have a pretty loyal heart (at least I honestly think I do). I care deeply about the relationships I build and invest in, and that invest in me. I tend to think of my close relationships as being relationships ‘forever’.

I’ve often thought that I would love this person forever. That I would know these people the rest of my life.

But reality is… that is pretty rare. I don’t like using that word unless it’ll be to my husband and future family one day. I feel like I will be able to love them forever. To love them until I die. My heart will be ever so loyal to loving and serving them, and hopefully growing closer to Jesus in the midst of the chaos.

If you have not been able to tell, I have a hard time moving on, letting people/things/places go. I have a hard time learning to un-invest. Seasons change just as time and distance change us. New people come in and out all the time. It is not a bad thing, but just a hard thing for me sometimes.

I am a very personal person, and do not feel myself being super-private with who I am. I tend to lean that way as the years continue on, because I want to share my life with people who are willing and wanting to share in return. I don’t like being the only one who is open and sharing about life. I want to be a part of other people’s journeys as well.

I am so thankful that Jesus is the definition of forever! He is with me (us) forever and ever. He is the beginning and end…. if anything, only He will last forever, and that is enough for me. He understands the human-ness of our hearts and how we weren’t made to last forever like Him. It is a beautiful thing really…




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