28 04 2012

I have been in such a weird season.

Almost a season of mourning.

Mourning my friend’s lives who are changing spiritually. As I watch their convictions and standards become fewer and far between, it makes me sad, because I’m being challenged in the opposite way. To build to standards just a little more, to allow the Holy Spirit to convict me more in areas that were not before.

Granted, we will all have different standards and convictions. I am in no way saying that others need to match mine. But those typical standards of moral and character, I’m just sad to see those slip away slowly.

But I am choosing to continue in my journey with joy. I can mourn the changing of friendships, and I think that is not a bad thing. It will be a sweet reminder of how to continue to pray for myself. That I do not want to slip into the mediocre lifestyle.

I want to be challenged and I want to grow. And if that means that I lose people on the way, I will trust Jesus for new friends who are growing in the way that I am. I am loyal, and I love the people of my past, and I probably hold on a little too tightly, and that is why it is always so hard to move forward.

But I will be thankful for the people God has allowed me to fall in love with; and I look forward to more people that my heart can love. I want to be able to share in the joy and pains of this journey with others, and I cannot do that if I’m surrounded with people who aren’t walking the same journey, or if I shut myself off from people.

So this season, I am determined to walk with joy, and continue to allow things to fall as they are. Even though it hurts, I’m trusting you Jesus.




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