5 01 2012


I got a lot of books for Christmas. I tend to buy buy buy books, but I am so bad at actually reading and/or finishing them. I am trying to become better at sticking with them, but it usually takes months-years to actually finish one book. If I start one book, I usually start 6 others… literally in the last few weeks I have started five good reads…

But I think I will put them all on hold, and stick to one. I am going to pick one that I bought yesterday.

Relentless by John Bevere. I really enjoy his easy-read and just the way he writes is fairly easy to get through. It is not super complicated- yet thought provoking and challenging. I did not care for the introduction of the book, but the first chapter already has me challenged.

Chapter 1- Relentless “Finishing is better than starting.” Ecclesiastes 7:8 (NLT)

In this chapter he talks about how he thinks that a lot of Christians will not finish as well as they think they will. They just kind of coast the ‘Christian’ lifestyle without truly living it out. Granted, we cannot judge and say whether a person is truly a believer or not, but I do think you can see fruit or not… but even that is not solid fact that someone is a believer.

Far too many times, believers get tired of fighting the (good) fight and persevering through the tough times. I know I do. The smallest thing can rock my boat sometimes. I am a very emotionally-built person, but I know that those emotions are God-given, but that does not mean I can run free within that. I need to learn self-control and need to stand upon the Word. It is so hard for me. I am an incredibly sensitive person as well, and the slightest things will hurt, but they would not if I would learn to respond Biblically.

I find my days becoming more mundane and almost lazy.

I have a desire to change.
I have a desire to confess sin.
I have a desire to dig into the Word.
I have a desire to encourage others.
I have a desire to live a more gospel-centered life.

But what more is there to that? Having a desire, and actually doing those things are two very different things. I want to do a lot, to be a better Christian, to represent Christ better, but… if I don’t get up off my lazy butt and do it, then it is all worthless.

I have never been much of a motivated person. It takes a lot to get me motivated. But what better motivation is there than scripture?

“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!II Corinthians 13:5 (ESV)

I desperately need to be checking myself. I am constantly slipping and falling, and failing quite miserably. But as long as I continue to get up, and seek the Lord and cling to Him, and move forward with joy, then that is progress. Christ asks us to persevere! He knew it was not going to be easy, for He travelled the most difficult road of all! He understands. Even when I feel like I desperately want to explain myself, and tell him or someone else why this just is not fair, and how much this or that hurts or why I just do not understand it, I should remember that He has faced this all, times a million… He has endured the greatest of trails and endured the wrath of His loving Father…

He. Knows. All.
I. Do. NOT.

I am excited about this book. About being Relentless in my journey, to continue on persistently and constantly without wavering in my faith towards the Kingdom. And I hope to encourage and bring others along this journey with me.

I want Christ to be glorified through the way I chose to live my life on this earth. I want to hear the Words from my Abba, “Well done my good and faithful servant…”. Those words will not come by coasting through my spiritual walk with sleepy eyes. They will come through the fighting and wrestling out the sanctification process. It will come through tears and victories. Knees bent humbly before the King and keeping Him on the throne of my heart. It will come through the compassion of Jesus’ eyes and serving with the picture of his scarred hands in the center of my heart. It will come with a confidence of the blood that saved me, and it will come with a faith that says “YES LORD! No matter the cost!” It will come rich or poor. Those words will come when my heart and mind can begin to grasp that this life is not about me and how good I live it, but it is about Him and how He is glorified through the way I live it…

Father, You have given me the greatest privilege to love through You. To represent who you are to this dying and broken world. May this worthless servant take advantage of that, and serve them with joy, for I am nothing, and I have nothing except You. Everything else is worthless…

In the morning
I bow down
As the sun rises
It awakens my heart
In the silence
I chose Your word

You are all I want
You are all I need
More than anything
More than anything I can hold

In noontime
I seek Your face
As I lose sight
Of who You are
Lord You’re so faithful
In reminding me

You are all I want
You are all I need
More than anything
More than anything I can hold

In the darkness
I cry out Your name
In the stillness
I remember Your word
In my weakness
You raise me up

You are all I want
You are all I need
More than anything
More than anything I can hold





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