Walking Ahead.

2 01 2012

I woke up this morning under a mass of seven blankets. Anything to keep me warm. Whispers from last nights fellowship that the snow was on its way were floating about in my mind. My heart beats steady as my sleepy eyes want to go back to sleep, but the bright white keeps them open.

Here it is.
The New Year welcomed by white.
A little flutter of joy begins to well up as I think of that.

White for a New Year.
A clean slate.

White covers the dead leaves and grass that laid there for weeks before. The beautiful colors of fall had already been forgotten. Only the remnants of the crunchy, dead leaves remained. We have only been seeing overcast and rainey days here.

But now the blanket of white covers it all up. The yesterdays are now gone, as the tomorrows begin. Sometimes it is hard to let go of the yesterdays, and to walk forward to the tomorrows. To the days that continue to hold precious moments of our lives. Even though we never know if we have a tomorrow.  No one is guaranteed anything.

This year I haven’t thought a whole lot about welcoming “the new year”. Kind of seems like 2011, nothing huge is different except that I need to remember to write 2011 2012.

I am excited however for this new year. Last year was a war zone spiritually. Wrestling between the reality of Christ and the gospel. Fighting, arguing and resisting. But by God’s grace, I have been saved! And with that grace, 2012 will be a year of joy. That doesn’t mean the hardships will be any less, but there is a joy that stands as the foundation of the trials.

My hopes for 2012, are that clarity will come. Clarity to issues I am wrestling with right now. Clarity as to where the Lord is leading this single-six-year-college-drop-out-server. I know I walked into 2012 with a wrestling of questions and doubts, that I will share soon; but those questions and doubts are not bad. I think they’re good. Even though it hurts, it is good for me. Questioning and doubting can be healthy, as long as you continue to hold close to Jesus, and if you sit and actually try to listen as you search for answers through the Word. I know the revealing of these issues will not come over night (well maybe it could), but rather this is all a process. It takes time to re-learn things and to remember and remind myself who God really is. That is what is important here. To keep my eyes focused on Him and only Him.

And that is why I am thankful for grace. His Grace… an undeserved and unending gift.

Even though we haven’t had the ‘big snow’ of the year, and all that lays on the ground right now is a  thin sheet; I hope that as the snow continues to fall, the layers and layers will be a continual reminder of His grace. His grace continues even when we don’t recognize it. It is something often forgotten, a word thrown around. But I hope as I see the white build up outside, that I will be reminded and look through an eternal perspective as I try and respond to situations and circumstances.

As I get out of bed and get ready to bundle myself up to fight the cold outside, I have a hope and a promise to cling to.

A hope that Jesus is real.
A hope because of his unending grace.
And a promise, that if I keep my eyes fixed on Him,
and continue to search His Word,
He will guide me.

“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” Psalm 25:5




One response

4 01 2012

“A hope that Jesus is real.
A hope because of his unending grace.
And a promise, that if I keep my eyes fixed on Him,
and continue to search His Word,
He will guide me.”

YES! I pray this for you so much, that you will see more and more that He is the anchor you are tied to, the cement your feet are stuck in, while everything is blowing and swirling around you…you see the wind and hear it’s noise and want to know, but not even your hair is being blown around because you’re standing on perfect Him!

“He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken.” Psalm 63:6

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